Newest Inductees to the Curchlady Handbag Brigade

The Modern Churchpeople Union blog has been my source for news about the dramarama in Mbare, Zimbabwe. Basically, to make a horrible story short, they’ve got two bishops and have gone to the federal courts to help decide which one’s the ‘real’ bishop. There’s been lying, cheating, and smacktalking galore, which from my armchair makes me want to go down their and snatch the pointy hats off the pointy heads and declare a do-over. Seriously, someone claimed that the folks charging they got hit with a stick were just ‘accidentally touched’ with a mop. *shakes head*

Out of the dramarama, though, comes this story, taken from the Herald:

EIGHT women from the St Andrew’s Anglican Church in Glen View yesterday appeared at Mbare Magistrates’ Court on allegations of malicious damage to property.

The women are part of a group which allegedly pulled down a fence and broke a french door and some windowpanes last week when they tried to forcibly evict Pastor Matthew Zifoti from a church house.

The property was valued at $23 billion [~$70,000 USD].

Among the women who appeared in court were Grace Muzondo (44), Loveness Pswavaviri (60), Penelope Muzvongi (25), Mauline Gombakomba (55), Thelma Musekiwa (50) and three others whose names were not given

Magistrate Ms Marehwanazvo Gofa remanded them out of custody on $20 million [~$600 USD] bail each and ordered them to appear in court on February 25.

More than 100 churchwomen thronged Mbare Courts in support of their arrested church-mates.

The courtroom was full to capacity with women dressed in the blue and white uniform of the Anglican Church.

Some even sat on the floor while others were following the initial remand proceedings outside the courtroom.

After the court session, the women gathered outside the court waiting for the official release of the eight around 5pm. — Court Reporter.

My current position on the Current Unpleasantness

This is official and binding and stuff.

MY GIVEADAMN’S BROKE. WAKE ME UP WHEN SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENS.

*goes back to biting her nails, NO, they still haven’t made a bloody decision yet!*

Gettin’ My Hopes Up

This started out as a very different blog post. But as often happens, I got stuck, and decided to take a spin around the blogosphere.

Fragments of words came to me, and appeared in comments here and there, and then I said, “Girl, what are you doing messing up other people’s blogs when you obviously have a Word to be giving? Don’t you have your own blog?”

What I see in the blogging world, especially amongst those who are responding to ++Rowan’s Christmas Message (which I labeled tl;dr, the man is getting right up my left nostril lately) is a sense of sighing, of shrugging the heavy burden to the other shoulder and stretching to pick up another weight to add to it.

“Reasonable”. You have to be bloody kidding me.

If we were reasonable people, us Christians, we’d sleep in on Sunday. If we were reasonable people, us Christians, we’d close all those parishes that can’t operate in the black (you know, 85% of them). If we were reasonable people, us Christians, we’d look at society and say, “Yeah, they’re arrayed against us, so let’s quit this silly faith thing and join the rat race festival of Make, Consume, Spend.”

If we were reasonable people, us Christians, we’d reject the concept of the Creator God daring to come to Earth as a wee bitty human baby, who then died, like, totally dead. And after that God died, that God came back to life.

Reason is highly overrated.

I’ve been trapped in the reason-loop myself, folks. I’ve been telling myself with my recent job duties transition at my temp gig to not get my hopes up, ’cause reasonably, Stuff Could Happen.

In Advent, I’ve been telling myself not to get my hopes up. In Advent, people! The time of hopeful waiting! Bad reason! BAD REASON! BAD! GO TO YOUR ROOM!

There are reasonable people out there. They’re using all sorts of reasons and ending their lines of reasoning with, “..and that’s why I’m right and you’re going right to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks you no good, horrible, very bad sinner.”

There is just one way to meet these reasonable people who preach doom, despair and death.

Meet them with an unreasonable hope.

(And I’m not going to shut up about hope, peace, joy, light, and life until the day God decides it’s time for me to take a nice little nap, so you might as well just start doing what I say, y’hear?)

Aha, So It’s A Duel You Want!

As reported over at EpiScope, taken from The New Times (Kigali, Uganda):

Archbishop Emmanuel Kolini has called on churches in the East African region to fight against homosexuality for the good of the society.

All right, Abp. Kolini! I accept your challenge!

As the challenged person, according to the Code Duello, I have the right to choose weapons.

I choose… HUGS!

That’s right, Abp. Kolini, I challenge you to a duel of hugs. I’m going to hug as many lonely, disposessed, ill, tired, lost, confused, confounded, angry people I can find. You, too. You go hug people too.

Person who loves the most wins.

Official Theme Song of TEC During The Current Unpleasantness

You’d think I’d crumble?
You’d think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to love
I know I’ll be alive.
I’ve got all my life to live,
I’ve got all my love to give,
And I’ll survive.
I will survive, hey hey!

(with much respect and honor to Gloria Gaynor)

In other news, today is the first time ever that someone actually Googled the word string “The Order of Santa Ignora”. YAY!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

I think the only way to fix this whole mess with our bishops is to toss the whole lot out on their pointy hats and start over again. Anyone who expresses a desire to actually hold the job will immediately be removed to a rural monastic retreat where they will be surrounded by peace, solitude, prayer, and the finest mental health professionals the Church can afford.

Pray for me, as I’ll pray for thee, that verily we’ll meet in heaven.

A Response to the Communique by the Global South Primates

This is the comment I originally posted on the MadPriest’s site, where he put up the entire communique-thingie.

————————————————-

Dear Revs. Akinola, Malango, Chea, Ernest, Anis, Kolini, Akrofi, Orombi, and Dirokpa:

tl;dr

Love of Christ,
Mee

Cycle of Violence

If you’re even half-aware of what’s going on in the Anglican blogosphere, you’ve already heard about the damnfool hooharaw over at Stand Firm*.

Elizabeth+ has a nice roundup of people who talk prettier than me. She also points out a distinct increase in the rhetoric’s violent undertones, to the point where subtext has just pretty much become text.

To which my first thought was, “Um, duh?”

Check out this Power and Control Wheel (PDF).

Now, WordPress tells me exactly how many of you click on links, and I know for every link I put up, about ONE of you click on it, so here’s a text summary of the Power and Control Wheel:

Using Coercion and Threats- Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her. Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare. Making her drop charges. Making her do illegal things.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming– Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns seriously. Saying the abuse didn’t happen. Shifting responsiblity for abusive behavior. Saying she caused it.

Using Male Privilege- Treating her like a servant. Making all the big decisions. Acting like the “master of the castle”. Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.

Using Intimidation- Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures. Smashing things. Destroying her property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.

Using Emotional Abuse- Putting her down. Making her feel bad about herself. Calling her names. Making her think she is crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating her. Making her feel guilty.

Using Isolation- Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes. Limiting her outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.

Using Children- Making her feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass her. Threatening to take the children away.

Using Economic Abuse- Preventing her from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not letting her know about or have access to family income.

Anyone who’s gone through this horror knows that the 100% guaranteed way to increase the violence is to attempt to regain some measure of power, from ‘talking back’ to walking out. Statistically, a victim is more likely to be killed when they take control of their lives back, regain their power. Why do you think so many women’s shelters don’t list their address in the phone book?

Living in that fear sucks the royal donkey balls. It’s our individual choice, though, whether we’re going to live the rule of fear, or live the rule of Love handed down by Jesus Christ.

Which ain’t always easy, lemme tell ya. Living by the rule of fear gives you a nice, easy, neat life. A life where the street signs clearly state which path is heading towards the safety of the light and which one leads to the outer darkness. Living the rule of Love is living in a grey, shadowy world, with no guarantee of safe passage.

Living the rule of Love means living in a world where you are the light that drives off the darkness, that lets you set your feet safely on whatever path you tread.

This little light of mine, well… I’m going to let it shine.

*Which has always sounded to me like a tag line for male enhancement pills.

Hate. The. World!

And not in the way that Christians are supposed to hate it.
I hate the world so much right now. Ohemgee.

I want to set it on fire.
Confound it, who hid my matches?

I’m going to run off to a mountaintop and form my own church.
First Church of Mary Sue. All are welcome, as long as you’re Mary Sue.

I want to hit people with sticks until the stupid runs out their ears.
Confound it, who hid my sticks?

Oh, for the love of Pete, not another financial appeal.
I’ve given until it hurts. I’m waiting to see what happens after that.

I’m waiting to see if it ever stops hurting.

A Near Occasion of Sin

I am not reading the Joint Standing Committee of the Anglican Communication Council’s response to the HoB statement.

Because it will cause my blood pressure to rise and I will repeat several scatalogical phrases and blasphemies (in several languages).

And therefore, as a good Christian, I shall remove myself from the near occasion of sin and go back to reading my way through the works of the Rev. Dr. Andrew Greeley, focusing particularly on the Bishop John Blackwood Ryan mystery novels.