Category Archives: *headdesk*

Open Letter To State Senator Gary George

From an interview with Just Out:

Just Out: What if an employee is fired because of his/her sexual orientation or gender identity? Isn’t the Oregon Equality Act in place to guard against such discrimination?
George: As an employer, I don’t wanna hear about it. This workplace is for work purposes. My advice to the gay community is SHUT UP, just don’t talk about it.

Dear Sen. Gary George:



Mary Sue

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Filed under *headdesk*

I’d like to care, but my giveadamn’s broke.

Lessee, what have I done in the last seven days?

1) Turned in notice at the Big Blue Box (Job#2). My last day will be March 30th (which means that’s also my last day of health coverage). I cited concerns for my health, which has tanked since I began working 50-60 hours a week. They may be called ‘angel kisses’, but spontaneous bruising caused by low iron levels in your blood is NOT. FUN.

2)  Was informed by Job#1 that they hired someone else for the position they asked me to come back and temp in, you know, the job I’ve been doing for three months now. They want me to stick around, though, benefits-free, “until at least July”.

3) Contracted viral strep throat. Yeah. That’s the kind of fun that’s not.

4) Learned that my dear friend has finally got off his ass and purchased plane tickets. He’ll be flying to NYC on Easter Sunday and leaving a few weeks later for Africa.

So, you know, I’ve got nothing going on, except my entire world being flipped upside down and I now have to make decisions about what career path to follow and whether or not I should remain in Portland.

If anyone recognizes this freakout, it’s ’cause I am in the exact same place as I was last year.


Filed under *headdesk*, me being myself, my life

Public Service Announcement

If your knees hurt, GO TO A DOCTOR.

Pain is BAD. Swelling is BAD. I don’t care if you can still walk, dance, and snowboard on it.

Trust me, PT and knee braces are a hell of a lot easier than cortisone shots and knee surgery. Even with the advancements in orthoscopic surgery.

This message brought to you because I’m working at a hospital. Health care workers are the biggest hypochondriacs and the last damnfools to seek medical attention. It may seem like a contradiction, but it’s true.


Filed under *headdesk*, me being myself

More Important Things Than Orgasms

Ah, the holidays. When people get in contact with people they haven’t talked to in a while. Such as Sillyhead. 

Sillyhead is obviously not a real name, but it’s an accurate descriptor of the person I’m about to describe. Sillyhead calls every year before the major holidays to basically find out if I’m going to be in a particular neck of the woods. Sillyhead and I used to be on intimate terms, someone whom I loved but even back then I knew we’d never spend our whole lives together. Our conversations always turn towards that topic at some point in the conversation. 

  Sillyhead being Sillyhead, though, it tends to hit me out of left field. So I’m regailing Sillyhead with a story about Geeky!Guy, a dear friend who is almost on par with Sillyhead for Dumb Stunt of the Year, when Sillyhead butts in.”Seems like a nice guy. It’s good you’re getting orgasms every once in a while.”

I did that thing from the movies where you take the phone away from your ear and stare at it for a few moments. “Uh, it’s not that kind of relationship,” I told Sillyhead. “And my orgasms are none of your business.” 

The phone went quiet for a few moments. It was the first time I’d responded to Sillyhead’s biennial stupid statements like that. Sillyhead got back on the phone and started talking about something else.

But that has been annoying me for nigh on a month now, and I think I have it figured out. I’ve all but given up on the media. The media’s message is that if you’re not having sex RIGHT NOW, well, it’s all your fault. But don’t fret, they will sell you a pill/ diet/ face cream/ hair extensions/ car/ beer/ lawnmower that is all but guaranteed to make someone have sex with you.

 I expect that message from the media. I don’t know why deep down in my heart I don’t expect it from the Church, but every time I run across it being preached, I’m surprised and a little hurt. 

I’m single. I’m not looking. And according to the Church, I’m crazy. 

Haven’t you noticed that the whole Current Unpleasantness has a distinctly orgasm-centric undertone? Those who don’t believe there should be GLBT people think the whole problem with GLBT people is that they just need to find the right, heterosexual orgasm friend*. And a lot of the argument, in fact, most of the argument on the GLBT side is “We want to marry!”

You know, I’m all for marriage being redefined as a relationship between two people consecrated before God and protected by the laws of the civil government in the jurisdiction where they live. But I’m single and not looking and not having sex and therefore a lot of this arguing does not impact my life. 

Yeah, it might in the future, but right now and for the forseeable future? It don’t.


Am I not a child of God? Am I not a tithing member of the Church, supporting not only my local ministries but the diocese and even the National Church with my time, talents, gifts and presence? Am I not seated on governing councils and am I not a volunteer in district events? Am I not working for peace and justice here and abroad? Am I not praying, preaching, blessing, and serving? Am I a member of this Church or not?

Because the message that I keep hearing over and over and over again, a subliminal viper of a message slinking its way through the entire Current Unpleasantness is that I cannot be a member, I cannot participate fully, I do not have an interest in the survival of my Church, I am not a complete human being, unless I am having orgasms with someone else.




 *Name the Buffy quote, get a cookie. 


Filed under *headdesk*, me being myself, meditations, teh sex

No, seriously, what the fuck?!

Go to the US House of Representatives, click on Educational Resources, then click on The Bill of Rights.

Yep, right there it says

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Now, what we need to do is run down to the US Congress Building’s gift shop, which I visited 12 months ago so I know they sell copies of the US Constitution and Bill of Rights there, and purchase copies for all 58 of the completely fucking retarded cosponsors of House Resolution 847: Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.

Thanks to Pisco for pointing out the post and raising my blood pressure today.


Filed under *headdesk*

If You’re Reading This, It’s Been Plagarized

Some webbot has latched upon my site as free fodder for its own blog without proper attribution. As I post under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license, what they’re doing is pretty much illegal.

But to get them to stop it, I have to take the time to notify each and every one of them.

THIS IS YOUR NOTICE MR. WEBBOT! You are in violation of my CC license! I will be coming after you!

Once I’m done with my NaNovel.

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

I think the only way to fix this whole mess with our bishops is to toss the whole lot out on their pointy hats and start over again. Anyone who expresses a desire to actually hold the job will immediately be removed to a rural monastic retreat where they will be surrounded by peace, solitude, prayer, and the finest mental health professionals the Church can afford.

Pray for me, as I’ll pray for thee, that verily we’ll meet in heaven.


Filed under *headdesk*, me being myself, The Current Unpleasantness

Ah, crap

I wrote “Golden Compass” and now I’m getting a whole bunch of hits and a couple of annoying comments from people who stumbled here from Google.

Listen, folks, I don’t like The Golden Compass. Because I think the books state fairly clearly that childhood and innocence are stupid. Which makes me think the books are stupid and Philip is a stupidhead and he has funny hair to boot. Nyah.

What? Me? Franciscan? How could you tell?

ANYWAYS! I found a new blogger who I adore muchly. His name is Josh Indiana. Because, uh… I think he’s from Indiana?

Here’s what he say:

I am forever getting useless ideas. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours working on a business plan for a chain of coffee- and teahouses which would locate Episcopal oratories in your local strip mall. Starbucks, watch out!

I fantasized about renting a storefront here in my town and starting up a little food-and-Jesus operation. It was pure lunacy, but great fun, figuring out how to franchise Jesus Coffee. (Hey, it could work!)

[…]I wonder how many other hungry souls are out there—not just Gay or Episcopalian, but people of any denomination or simply those who yearn for God, without much “faith” at all—people who have been turned off or rejected by the institutional church but need a spiritual home. Might they find it easier to worship in a coffeehouse, or even a bar? How about a place that sells Bishops’ Blend fair-trade, shade-grown coffee, Monks’ Blend tea and Joshua’s Banana-Nut Muffins?

Here’s what I say: SIGN ME UP, PUNKIN! I would live there, I tell you what.

Considering I practically already live in a coffee shop (or three), well, it wouldn’t be that much of a lifestyle stretch. I’d change the name of this blog to the Order of Santa Pasquini.

The fact that I know Pasquini off the top of my head should say a lot about me, nu?


Filed under *headdesk*, I'm Just A Girl, me being myself

It’s my blog, and I’ll rant if I want to.

Chico, California is in Butte County (pronounced Byoot unless I want to make a joke about it) in the northern part of the state. Chico is best known for rice and almond farming and being home to one of the best state universities in the whole wide world.

Chino, California is in San Bernadino County in the southeast portion of the state. Chino is best known for its dairy farming and being home to three of the largest state prisons in California.



(p.s. Go Wildcats!)


Filed under *headdesk*, me being myself


10/26/07 Update: Someone linked to this post as part of a screed about how Harry Potter is forwarding the American agenda to make kids liberal gay abortionists, or some such. So, if anyone’s actually bothered to follow the link from there to here, you might want to read Who is Santa Ignora? before you read this.

Am I the only one who always thought Albus Dumbledore was gayer than a gay thing on Gay Day in Gaydonia?

‘Cause, I mean, really, wasn’t it just kind of a given?

And now people are trying to politicize it, but for the love of the sweet Baby Albus Severus Potter, he’s FICTIONAL.

(In other news, why is there in all of East Portland only one church that’s open if you just want to pop in and have a quick prayer, but it charges $6 for a votive candle? Also, why do I seem to carry about in my head a listing of the service times and addresses of every Episcopal, RC, and OCA church within a five mile radius of my house?)


Filed under *headdesk*