Category Archives: someone thinks it’s funny

Looking for something to wear to Easter Services?

Yeah, my giveadamn’s still broke, but I figured some of you are looking at the calendar and going, “Oh noes! 12 days until Easter! Whatever will I wear?”

I would like to recommend this t-shirt from the Mental Floss store. As you can see from the motif, it is particularly appropriate for sunrise services.

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How Many Blogs Do You Need?

My answer: Four.

Please meet my newest blog: Fangirling my Finances: where I see what happens when I put as much time and energy into keeping track of my finances as I do in keeping track of my fandoms.

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Hahaha! *snerk*

This cracked me up so. much. OMG 

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The Baptism of Coffee

Serendipity or silly? You decide.

Who knew that coffee, loved by millions, almost never made it past the censors? The book Coffee notes that when the plant first arrived in Europe in the 1600s, some Catholic priests branded it a “concoction of Satan” due to its mood-altering effects. However, Pope Clement VIII allegedly had a cup and became an instant convert. He resolved the social dilemma by symbolically baptizing the brew, thereby making it perfectly acceptable to start your day with a steaming cup of coffee.

From the McMenamins History, Hotels, and Pubs Newsletter, December 2007, January and February 2008, pg. 15.

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Today’s xkcd Strip Hit Too Close To Home

we actually reached the future about three years ago.

When you mouse over the strip on the actual xkcd strip, it says “We actually reached the future about three years ago.”

I want you all to meditate on this now.

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Enough Depressing Crap.

Here’s something my Deacon sent me in the emails. So there.

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
——–

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more
quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original “Jaws” story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can
recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t
covered by an HMO. (The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday
travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass
consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners
looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass
led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating
capacity of a pew.

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Two Jokes

Joke the first:
Someone got to my blog today searching for “Dominican Mormon”.

Joke the second (not written by me):
And Jesus turned to the theologian and said, “Who do you say I am?”

And the theologian promptly answered, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships.”

And Jesus said, “…huh?”

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