On Hoaxes

The Crystal Skull. Oy, don’t get me started.

Yes, it’s the centerpiece of a summer blockbuster opening this weekend. Yes, I’m going to see the movie because Harrison Ford is sexyOMG.

No, I do not want to hear about your whacked-out spacemen created the Pyramids and all life on Earth but the Gubernmint is covering it up story.

Why? I’m a trained historian, duh. I actually took this most awesome class called “Ancient Mysteries” where our final was to take one chapter of Chariot of the Gods and disprove it using historical fact. Which was really, REALLY easy, even in a pre-Google world. Every student in this class learned to read 19th dynasty Egyptian hieroglyphics so we could read documents WRITTEN BY EGYPTIANS about how, exactly, THEY BUILT THE M-F’ING PYRAMIDS!

(We also got photos of the graffiti left on the Pyramids and read those in the original Egyptian. After that, bathroom walls nowadays are boring.)

(By the by, I picked the chapter about the Spaceman cave paintings, wherein a human figure had either a really big head or another circle around the head, which CotG called a ‘space helmet’. I concluded in my final paragraph “In the future, fringe archaeologists will determine we all worshipped figures from space when they excavate Russian Orthodox churches and find all these people with circles around their heads, which are obviously 2-D space helmets.”)

ANYWAY! This wasn’t supposed to be a rant. But I get ranty when I’m smacked in the face with Bad History and Bad Archaeology. This was supposed to be a simple post pointing y’all to the mental_floss blog and their short, sweet, and AWESOME list of 10 Fake Archaeology Finds.

Included in the list:
1. The James Ossuary
2. The “oldest” star map
3. The Calaveras Skull
4. Etruscan terracotta warriors
5. Forged Persian Princess
6. Piltdown Man
7. Tiara of Saitaphernes
8. Mississippi State Capital Forgery
9. Cardiff Giant
10. Michigan Relics

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One response to “On Hoaxes

  1. If bathroom walls are boring, perhaps you should begin writing on them in Egyptian hieroglyphics…that ought to spice things up.