Hi y’all! *waves* I seeee yooooou!
Don’t think you’re getting away with not clicking this link. Because I’m like Santa Claus, I know when you’ve been bad (and not listened to me and not clicked this link.) and when you’ve been good (by listening to me and clicking this link.)
*sigh* FINE! EXCERPT TO CONVINCE YOU TO CLICK THIS LINK.
With pain, we must first acknowledge that we feel it; until we can see and admit that a thing is there, we can’t take measures to protect ourselves from it or get rid of it entirely. We also have to accept that it’s perfectly all right to feel hurt by things that hurt us. Being hurt by painful things is . . . well . . . painful!
The problem is, our society really hates pain, and expressions of pain. It often belittles and derides those who have hurt feelings — and hurt bodies — as weak and inferior. It likes for people to feel guilty and ashamed about these things. According to the messages many of us receive, we’re supposed to be perfect, and we had better be trying to measure up just as hard as we can, or we are entitled to no sympathy at all.
So a lot of us are conditioned to respond to ourselves when we are in pain by belittling ourselves. We tell ourselves that we don’t really hurt, or that we should not hurt; or worse, we feel guilty and ashamed, and hang on to our pain like a punishment we feel we deserve. The end result of that is that our pain just builds up and festers and poisons our lives.
Unlearning this conditioning is important if we are to accept ourselves and heal. It takes strength to admit to feeling pain and to work through it. It really does. It is easier to go along with what society tells us, it is easier to assume the identity and disrespect thrust upon us, instead of fighting to retain the identity and dignity we deserve, pain and all. If we are making our pain worse by holding on to it and feeling ashamed of what we are, we can never be at peace with ourselves, and until we are at peace, we will never be whole.
And remember, Big Sister is Watching Your Clicks. She has a handbag and is not afraid to use it.