Church History, by Mary Sue

Background: An apathetic atheist (one who can’t really be arsed to believe about God) friend emails back and forth with me several times a day. We mostly talk about Harry Potter, but somehow we got on this tangent about the virgin birth mythos, Jesus and the theory that Jesus didn’t poop. And the following is my reply… better hold on to something.

See, the thing is most other religions, even if they have the deity reborn as a human, they believe that “his poopoo don’t stink” thing. But most of the Bible and the early tradition doesn’t. Matter of fact, the whole deal with the Arian heresey in the, uh, long time agoes, was that people were like, “Ok, so he was human, we can dig that, but we don’t believe that God (being all pure and stuff) would totally LIVE IN A HUMAN ’cause human bodies are bad and junk (poopoo!) so therefore he was just some dude wholly inspired.” And the Fathers and Mothers were like, “Nuh uh! Fully God and fully Man, beeyatches!” and then there was a fistfight amongst bishops and the Arians were smacked down. But their spiritual descendants still pop up sometimes.

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