Open Prayer to the Holy Trinity

Dear God All-Together:

Please stop scaring my aunties. First you make one think she’s got colon cancer, and then downgrade it to the much-easier-to-cure (and funnier) anal cancer. Now another’s in the hospital with chest pains. You know this family, Boss, we are large and we are loud and we will not get off your back until you knock it off. Save yourself some time and your eardrums from our yelling.

Love, Mee

P.S. I would also like a pony a job, please.

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