It has come to my attention that I am not white.

Despite the fact I sunburn like a sunburny thing, despite the big white boy I call ‘Dad’, despite the fact my last name is a Scottish COUNTY, and my sister is blonde(ish) I have been informed I am not white.

The person who told me this got an eye-roll and a “Duh!”

I’m an Ameican middle-ish class person, which means my speech, dress, and mannerisims in polite situations lead people to think the really dark hair, eyes, and skin are just– you know, Mediterranean. Maybe South of France. Germanic, I got called once.

Well, some of that’s kicking around, too, but mostly, I’m Mexican.

And I never feel more like throwing on a sombrero and serape and doing a horrifyingly bad accent than when I’m reading the Episcopal blogosphere.

And it’s not because people of color are underrepresented in the Episcopal blogosphere (even though, hello, we are!) but it’s because you white people are crazy, and you talk too much.

Not that Mexicans can’t talk. Boy, do we love to talk! Spend all Sunday afternoon talking and then go home and call each other up on the phone to talk some more. The problem I see with white people is that talking is often the last step.

No, seriously, let’s look at the Windsor Report. Here’s my take on the Windsor Report: “We talked about what people did, we think you need to talk some more, and now we’re going to talk at you about how we got to that conclusion.”

So then there was General Convention talky, where they said, “We don’t agree with your talky, but here’s what we talked about, why don’t you talk amongst yourselves and get back to us?”

And then the Primate’s Meeting was, “We’ve talked amongst ourselves and we think you’re stupidheads.” Oooh, finally, a direction! But the primate running the meeting wasn’t white, so…

Then the House of Bishops said, “No, you’re a bunch of stupidheads, we’re not going to do what you want, because we’re going to TALK SOME MORE and you can’t stop us. Nyah.”

Talky talky talky, WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE SHUT UP AND DO SOMETHING ALREADY?!!? The only people I can see actually doing anything are the ones leaving the Church!


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