I had a nightmare last night.
It didn’t involve vampires, or things jumping out at me, or space aliens bent on world domination through lolipops shaped like bunnies (don’t ask).
In my nightmare, I was ordained a priest.
This isn’t metaphorical or fictionalized. I really, truly dreamed last night that I had been ordained, and it was a nightmare.
I had a cassock and a surplice on, and a red stole, and someone was chasing me around with a chausible. Being chased wasn’t the scary part. You see, the person who ordained me, as soon as the laying on of hands was over, started cleaning out his pockets and dumping scrawled, crumpled notes in my hands. “Here, take care of these,” he said, and then disappeared as I tried to pick up and read all the papers.
But I couldn’t catch them all, and I was drug away by some people to a swimming pool, and shoved into the deep end (still in my cassock), and when I swam to the side, a guy in the pool asked if I’d hear his confession.
I was a priest, how could I say no? But the notes and the outfit were pulling me underwater, until I couldn’t hear more than a mumble.
That was when my alarm went off.
What is my subconcious trying to tell me?! BAD BRAIN! BAD! BAD! GO TO YOUR ROOM!