1. Never ask God “Why?” because the answer is, inevitably, “Because I AM said so.”Likewise, don’t pray for patience, ‘cause God will make you learn it the hard way, and if you’re stubborn like me, you wind up with physical scars. Ow.
2. Don’t pray for a pony unless you like mucking out stalls.
3. Any burning in your heart should first be treated with antacids. If that doesn’t stop it, then consult a gastrointestinal medical professional. If it persists, consult a spiritual professional.
4. Praying for someone to die makes the Baby Jesus cry. Praying for your sports team to win makes the Baby Jesus laugh at you. Praying with gritted teeth for someone you intensely dislike makes the Baby Jesus laugh, but that’s just ‘cause He’s finally getting his way.
5. Signs from heaven don’t come in neon.
6. The warm fuzzies you get from a new practice will go away. That does not mean that God has gone away, and that doesn’t mean it’s time to find something else to try.
7. No answer doesn’t mean there’s no one on the other end of the line.
8. Our God loves us too much to speak to us like an announcer over the PA system at the grocery store. When God speaks to you, it’s much more personal.
9. No accessories are needed to communicate with God, but it’s okay to use them if you need help concentrating.
10. No one ever said it was going to be easy. It’s called a ‘practice’ and a ‘discipline’ for a reason.