Recovering from Spiritual Illness

I seem to have come down with a spiritual illness. Don’t quite know where it came from, but I have a couple ideas. I’ve tried to resume my spiritual life a couple times, at full strength, and have been set back farther than before.

Which was my mistake. When you’re sick, you don’t go out to an all-you-can-eat steak buffet. When you’re spiritually sick, the deep theological treatises make your eyes cross (i.e. ‘cognitive ethology’).

Stepping back. Resting. Softer, simpler food of the psalms and Gospel. There’s no rushing healing.

Heh

It was a Google ad on a Christian board, and announced “Exquisit Prayer Mats”.

I thought at first that it was a misspelling, or a translation error from Arabic.

Nope. Turns out these are 100% Christian Prayer Mats. From the website:

Portable – The Prayer Mat rolls up into an integrated bag for easy transport.

Flexible – Integrated adjustable knee and face pad for multiple prayer positions.

Comfortable – Integrated carrying bag converts to foot pockets for maximum comfort while praying. A padded mat along with knee and face pad provide maximum comfort on any surface.

Durable – The entire line of Prayer Mats are made of high quality materials that will provide years of service. The exterior of the prayer mat can be clean with a damp cloth.

An unchurched friend came up to me while I was perusing the site, and we spent a while reading the pages and exclaiming over the different features (Friend: “You know what I could do with $99.95?” Moi: “Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, bury the dead…” Friend: “That’s what I was thinking!”)

Then I found the instructions for use.

Moi: Reading from website Unpack Mat. Place bag on floor and un-snap top 3 snaps. Lay bag on its side and rollout mat in the desired direction.
Friend: …towards Mecca?

Then I got to the last part of the instructions:

G. Pull side of bag with snaps toward the top of roll and snap middle snap
H. Move hand to outside snaps and put slight pressure down and snap

There. You now all know how to operate snaps. Congratulations!

I did a quick Google, and it turns out that there are many types of prayer mats out there, including ones with scripture or maps of the world.

I just wonder, though, if the next step from getting a prayer mat is prostrations before the Cross, and from there it’s a slow, slippery slide to Catholicisim (Anglo- or Roman-) or even… *gasp* the Orthodox church! They do love themselves some prostrations…

A little song for Saturday Afternoon

So ah prayed to God Almichty, ah prayed to him today
The Guid Lord was awfa time a in comin’
Ah prayed to God Almichty, and glory, glory ay
The Great Almichty came . . . she was a woman!
Well, she viewed me, She how’d ye-do-ed-me
Said, ’Ma lad ye willna’ listen ye’re no learn’
So here’s a little lesson boy ye’re comin’ back again
And this time as a woman ye’re returnin’

—They Sent a Wumman, The Dublin Cowboys

Frickin’ Christians.

Man, I tell you what. It’s days like today that I wish I coulda stayed Buddhist. Frickin’ Christians can’t find their holy with both hands and a flashlight.

Culture?

Why is the first reaction of the daughter of a virulently ex-Catholic mother, a woman who was a member of the United Methodist Church for 16 years, why is her reaction to bad news to immediately begin praying,

Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners.

Prayers requested for J as her child C enlists in the Army tomorrow, aiming for EOD training (explosive ordinance detection/disposal), and for all those serving in armed forces throughout the world.

Epithet

Warriors hurl their weapons
making it look easy,
a casual gesture.
Their aim is unerring
(they have lots of practice)
and the words
pierce
the heart.

When did it become
a bad thing
to be born?

I collect the tatters
of my dignity
and sew it together
with the thread
of history,
spun by the faith and spirit
of those who walked
before me.

My cloak has
many colors
and keeps me warm
as I continue further
down the road
than my resting ancestors
dared dream their
wayward daughter
would
go.

– MSR

Repost of something I just said on the Ship of Fools

There is a style of preaching I’ve seen mostly in mainstream churches that I call the GTU Style. Mostly because 98% of my church experience is here on the west coast of the US, where a significant portion of preachers of all denominations wind up at the Graduate Theological Union. The style is characterised by preaching in tones suitable for PBS newsreaders, many anectdotes interspersed with esoteric literary and theological references, and overuse of the words “I submit to you”.

It’s a preaching style that’s focused on making you think. I’d say that the side effect of all that thinking is that the congregation doesn’t then get up and act on the Gospel.

Baaaaby Elephants

Because I can!

(Yes, the Portland Zoo has a really crappy elephant enclosure. It’s going to be fixed.)

Something to Ponder

That’s what disturbed me so much about the message – realizing that to many people like John, building a community is all about building a cash machine.

From Chris Guillebeau’s blog The Art of Nonconformity. It shocked me right into stillness, because anyone who has done any talking in their church about ‘growing’, well, shoot, this is what it always boils down to.

And it’s what caused me to put that Statement of Belief on up in the corner there, the one that says “I am NOT a demographic, I am a child of God!”

Chris’ blog is worth the reading. If just to see all the pictures of the awesome places he goes.

Something I’ve been thinking about.

In 1919, there was an Episcopal mission in my town that had Morning and Evening Prayer 7 days a week, pretty much always led by the same lay person. He led them at this mission for about 17 years.

Ninety years later, that mission is a parish that opens its doors one day a week for worship and prayer.

Yeah, it’s St. Thatguy the Dude. Parish history project is coming along apace.

But it’s got me thinking, and the thoughts are unsettling, so I want to throw them out here and see if they can’t engender comment.

Here’s the thought: You cannot pray the Daily Office alone.

I know lots of people do; I’ve been known to do so myself. But I am starting to realise that praying it alone, in my bedroom, whenever I get a moment or two, is not what the Office is intended for. It’s meant for that two-or-more-gathered-together, it’s meant to be a public declaration of our faith. Oh, sure, there’s Skype, there’s conference calls, there’s web pages with the readings thoughtfully laid out for you.

No. In a culture that’s constantly attempting to isolate us from each other, we as Christians are flat-out ordered by Jesus to come together in person, to get within touching distance, to break down the walls we try and put up. I name these walls ‘email’ and ‘efficiency’ and ‘time management’ and I, for one, want to take a wrecking ball to the lot of them!

The Episcopal Church is worried about getting people in the doors so we can preach the Gospel and send them out again as ministers to the world.

So, how are we to get people in the doors for that Gospel telling if the doors are only open for an hour and a half a week?

I’m getting this sneaking suspicion that the Daily Office (accent on daily) is the answer.