Open letter to all people everywhere (but especially Christians)

Dear People of the World (and especially you, Christians)

Quit your bitching and enjoy life.

Love,
Mary Sue

Dear Jesus: Love you, but your people… oy.

I got another email last night from someone at church, pretty much flat-out demanding I deliver some mythical project to them next Sunday. This is a project I said I was kind of working on, but is suffering from two things:

1) A significant amount of the research is in my head, and it’s the kind of thing where, well, I’m a trained historian so it would take me longer to explain how to put all the information together in a cohesive form than to do the project myself, and

2) To do the project I would need to carve out about 50 hours of my own time. Thanks to work and my home purchase shenanigans, I’m dangerously short on spoons as it is. If you’re not familiar with The Spoon Theory, you really need to click that link and read it. I’ll still be here waiting when you get back.

I was straight up o-u-t of spoons last night (Saturday was a party for a friend who’s moving on, and I danced like I was a healthy person. I’m still paying for it today, and the only thing that kept me from using my cane is that no one at my office has seen me use my cane and I will take pain and limited mobility over nosy-ass questions most days of the week, but especially Monday). When I’m out of spoons, I am not the happiest person, so I shot back a short and snappy email, to the tune of, “I don’t have additional materials, and I will not be at church for the forseeable future.”

And the reply came back, and I had to forward it to my Best Friend in the Whole Wide World to get a second opinion, because as I read it, it was a “Don’t let the doorknob hit you on the ass on the way out” email.

BFitWWW concurred that it did sound like this specific church member was washing their hands of me. BFitWWW then pushed forward the same thing he’s pushed forward every time I’ve complained about my church lately, which is “Maybe it’s time to find another parish.”

I’m starting to think that maybe he’s right.

We can has bishop nao?

From here:

By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, the diocese of Oregon, meeting in Convention in Eugene, Oregon, on the 20th day of November in the year of our Lord 2009, has elected The Rev. Michael Hanley as the tenth Bishop of Oregon.

Father Hanley has been serving as rector of St. Christopher Episcopal Church, Roseville, Minnesota since 1998. He was one of three nominees selected by the Search Committee to stand for election. Provided a majority of bishops with jurisdiction and a majority of diocesan Standing Committees give their consent, he will be consecrated on April 10, 2010 by The Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts-Schori, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church.

12 People

Name: Roberta Gavou
Age: 35
Date of Death: November 24th 2008
Location of Death: Rome (Italy), in the street
Cause of Death: Stabbed to death
Source: www.sylviarivera.org

Name: N.N.
Age: 50
Date of Death: December 25th 2008
Location of Death: Rosate (MI), (Italy), in the street
Cause of Death: Beaten to death
Source: www.gaynews.it

Name: Aline da Silva Ribeira
Age: 24
Date of Death: January 16th 2009
Location of Death: Naples (Italy), in the street
Cause of Death: Strangled
Sources: www.sylviarivera.org & corrierealpi.gelocal.it

Name: Puttalakshmi’s (Hijra)
Age: 30
Date of Death: (shortly before) February 19th 2009
Location of Death: Bangalore (India)
Cause of Death: Thrown out of a moving vehicle
Source: Bangalore News, 19.02.2009

Name: Smail L.
Age: 36
Date of Death: March 24th 2009
Location of Death: Valencia (Spain)
Cause of Death: Beaten to death
Sources: ABC.es 25.03.2009 & Las Provincias 26.03.2009

Name: Image Devereux
Age: 34
Date of Death: April 14th 2009
Location of Death: Fayetteville (USA), in the street
Cause of Death: Not reported
Source: www.transgenderdor.org

Name: Ketlin
Age: 19
Date of Death: May 2009
Location of Death: Uruaçu (Brazil)
Cause of Death: Dismembered and beaten to death
Source: LGBTT-Blogspot, 03.07.2009

Name: Camilla
Age: 30
Date of Death: Before June 22nd 2009
Location of Death: Volgograd (Russia)
Cause of Death: Shot
Source: Spiegel Online 23.06.2009

Name: “Cesar” Torres
Age: 39
Date of Death: July 8th 2009
Location of Death: El Paso (USA), own apartment
Cause of Death: Beatings and severe injuries
Sources: El Paso Times, 11.07.2009, KDBC 4 News, Portugal.Gay 13.07.09

Name: Paulina Ibarra
Age: 24
Date of Death: August 28th 2009
Location of Death: Hollywood (USA), own apartment
Cause of Death: Stabbed to death
Source: ABC 7, 07.09.2009

Name: “Rusbel Antonio” Torres Jesús
Age: 30
Date of Death: September 21th 2009
Location of Death: Chimbote (Peru), in own liquor shop
Cause of death: Shot
Source: El Comercio 22.09.2009

Name: Monserrat (”Elder Noe”) Maradiaga
Age: Not reported
Date of Death: October 10th 2009
Location of Death: San Pedro Sula (Honduras)
Cause of Death: Run over by a car
Source: ElsentidoG.com 24.10.2009

Names taken from the international list of 169 transpersons reported as murdered in the last 12 months. The actual number is likely to be much, much higher.

November 20th is the International Transgender Day of Remembrance.

May the angels lead them into Paradise, may the holy martyrs receive them as they arrive and take them into the Holy City.

Thinking about Sermonizing

Listening to some podcasts of sermons from high-falutin’ churches around the country.

All the preachers have very impressive CVs, reflecting many, many years of academic theology.

And their preaching shows it. Lots and lots of big words, lots and lots of words that need to be defined. Lots of lovely logic arguments.

zzzzzzzzzz….

Huh? Whuzzat? Hm. Sorry. Fell asleep.

I’m sure there are well educated people to whom this style of preaching is deep and meaningful. I’m not one of them. Neither are a lot of my friends. Neither are a lot of my coworkers.

And then I get to wondering, what goal are these people looking to get from their preaching? A well-crafted argument? A ‘good sermon’ pat on the back from some of those well educated people? A break in the action for eight to fifteen minutes between the Word and the Sacrament*?

What is the goal of a sermon? I don’t know. I know the ones I like are not the ones that make me nod and say, “Yes, Lord, yes, that is a good thing to think about even though it doesn’t apply to me.”

The ones I like are the ones that have me nodding and saying, “Yes, Lord, yes! I have not been at my best, but now, with Your help, I resolve to go forward and do better!”

—–
*What? Me Episcopalian?

I’m composing emails in my head.

The emails I’m composing in my head are of the general ‘Fuck off’ variety, but with bigger words and aimed at the leadership of my parish.

I just might send them, too. I haven’t been to church since September, and we’re coming up on a time of year that’s going to be very hard for me. Lessee, this month there’s one one-year anniversary of the death of, next month there’s three one-year anniversary of the death ofs, and in January?

There’s SIX.

And if I go to church there’ll be demands to know where I’ve been and why I’m not in the choir, but even if I don’t show up, there’s emails. I dodge the phone calls because, well, I don’t ever answer my phone because I hate talking on the phone, it’s all I do at work all day. People who know me know that and will send me emails or text messages, but church people? Send me emails demanding I call them, with no other information why and what for.

(They wanted me to run an after-service discussion panel with 48 hours notice, on a weekend I had already made plans to be out of town.)

Right now I can’t rustle up any charity or forgiveness for that. Just an inarticulate rage.

So, the mental emails. Because maybe, maybe having an official sabbatical on the record would give me the breathing space to deal with my grief and my self and all those things I’ve been having to shove to the ‘Deal With This Psychological and/or Spiritual Trauma Later’ box. Let them know that they’ll see me when they next see me, and until then they will have to just deal with it on their own.

Maybe they’ll honor my wishes and leave me alone for a while.

Just like they honored my wishes to let me out of a group about engaging in listening processes with different demographical groups when I told them I felt my experiences were shot down with knee-jerk swiftness– OH WAIT, they keep operating under the assumption I’m in that group and sending me emails about how they missed me at the meetings!

I need a whole lot less committee and a whole lot more Jesus, and I am not finding that at my parish right now.

Go read “Prayer Book as Our Regula” Right Now.

Seriously, if you haven’t read Christopher’s post called “The Prayer Book as Our Regula, you really should. It is a fantastic piece.

Excerpty!

In fact, the Prayer Book is a distinctive enfleshment of a moderate, generous, gentle, common, and above all else, awed way of being together in the world that insists that we are homo adorans and asks that because we praise God, we reverence one another and creation by making our own contribution in daily life (“contribution” is a term I shamelessly borrow from Dr John Booty who describes Anglican response to awe of God in this way).

In other words, our Prayer Book is the heart of St Benedict’s instruction: Prayer above all else.

Being a liturgist, Christopher dives into suggesting a new format for the Prayer Book, which I heartily approve of. As a self-taught Prayer Book pray-er, it took me forever to understand that you don’t have to say every line printed, in order. I hated doing the Sufferages, because I’d pray A and B back to back, and that’s just ridiculous.

Christopher insists that the goal should be pattern formation, which as an educator I nod sagely at, and as a person with I bounce around shouting, “YES! So true, it’s the only thing that keeps my hectic life on– OO A BIRDIE!” It’s not just ADD people who need a schedule with postmarks for the day, though it is a little tougher for us to stick to a schedule.

But I am a self-taught Prayer Book pray-er, and that is because despite joining the Episcopal Church officially in 2003, I can count on the fingers of both hands times when I have been at community worship and the Prayer Book was used instead of a printed bulletin. The little red books in the pews are only touched by the people dusting and the people who are really bored and are looking for anything to distract them.

I’ve argued before that one of the great tragedies of our education and formation programs at the parish level is the lack of serious, concrete Bible study that emphasizes both familiarity and functionality. I would also argue, as frequently and loudly as I can, that the number one greatest tragedy of our education and formation programs at the parish level is the lack of serious, concrete Prayer Book study that emphasizes both familiarity and functionality.

Now, in my dream parish, the best way to foster the familiarity and functionality of the Prayer Book is through offering Morning and Evening Prayer seven days a week. Whenever I mention that (or even offering it one evening a week– ONE EVENING and I’m volunteering to organize and to be Reader!) the old familiar refrain rears its ugly head: “It will never work, no one will come, we’ve tried it before.”

I believe the greatest tragedy of our parishes is the unwillingness to foster old ideas. If it’s not new-now-withit-shiny-on the cover of the Rolling Stone, it tends to be shot down. But people are starting to slowly come out of the consumerism coma and seek that which has been proven stable through time. I believe the resurgance in interest in the Rule of St. Benedict is an example of this.

Pagodas in Japan have stood for hundreds of years, through severe earthquakes and hurricanes because they are built to flex around a central spine. One of the greatest strengths of Christianity is its ability to flex with the times, and yet it is built around the solid core of the living Christ, from which every individual Christian branches off. Episcopalians are rooted in that spine through the Prayer Book, and if we are to survive as a Christian community, we cannot cut ourselves off from the Prayer Book.

Oh, we’ve all heard it before…

…someone says, “I’m not worth it, don’t bother praying for me.”

My response is usually, “Whoops. Too late.”

Episcopal Church to Dedicate Bike Shrine

As reported by BikePortland.org, since I can’t find a blessed thing about it on the St. Stephen’s page.

Here’s the thing– we have a LOT of people who ride bikes in Portland, and unfortunately we have a LOT of people who have been injured and killed while riding bikes in Portland. My favorite cafe waitress this week was wearing a sling and moving slowly ’cause someone opened a car door into the bike lane directly in front of her.

The shrine will be dedicated to La Madonna del Ghisallo, who was originally the patron of vulnerable travelers, but then asked to also take care of bicyclists, too.

Why is this so awesome and important? Well, a few reasons that I’m coming up with are:

1) Roadside shrines cause traffic issues. People slow down to look at them. Pedestrians cross traffic lanes to leave flowers. There was a woman killed in my hometown who was taking care of a roadside shrine and someone lost control of the car and ran into her.

2) Portland is a very unchurched town. Lots of us are ’spiritual, not religious’. This gives those people an open space to mourn and remember and pray for safety. It takes a little bit of that fear of the Church Building away, that fear of walking into a new place and being judged, and honestly? A little bit of that fear of the Christian. Because a lot of ’spiritual, not religious’ people are only familiar with Christian beliefs a la Jerry Falwell and George Bush, and they be scary men, yo.

Thinking Ahead

I wonder if anywhere sells a lapel pin that says something like, “I am observing Advent”

Just wondering out loud.